Something which has been on my mind for a while now is the fact that I would like to get some primary research from real historians. I believe this can add a depth of knowledge into my project and will be extremely beneficial as I can tailor the questions I ask specifically to my project. I have written several drafts and finally have one which I am happy with, below I shall evaluate them:
DRAFT 1
To x,
I am a college student from ************ who is currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ), which basically involves planning, researching and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to take this further into Higher Education I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great, partially because although myself - and the majority of others - have all heard of him but actually know very little about him. My specific title is “To what extend does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?” which I chose because it should allow me to delve into the depths of his character as well as his achievements and truly analyse who he was as a person.
I am writing to you because during my research I have come across mentions of you [insert books, websites etc.] and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind first recommending any reading or avenues of research to undertake and later maybe answer any very specific questions or give your thoughts on any particular opinions I later come across. I would be much obliged if you could take the time out of your presumably very busy schedule and help me out as it is a subject I am deeply interested in and a question I want to answer to the best of my ability.
Yours sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form
The good things about this potential email is that it explains what the EPQ is as academics may not be aware of it and I feel I get my genuine interest in the subject across, academics won't reply if they feel I am not truly fascinated by their work. While I like all of this I don't feel that it works straight at the beginning as I don't actually tell them what I'd like from them until the second paragraph, these people are probably extremely busy and would want to know exactly why I am emailing them immediately. It is also very vague, it only asks for recommendations and I am past that point in my research so I would like some specific questions to be put in so it relates to my project completely.
I had to look up how to sign off from an email and I've learnt that you use Sincerely when you know the name of the person you are contacting (I will in this case) and Faithfully when they are known simply as sir/madame.
DRAFT 2
To x,
I am a student of ******* and am currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ) which basically involves planning, researching, evaluating and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to pursue this further into Higher Education through a Classics degree I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great. I chose this topic because I was fascinated by the fact that the majority of people, including myself at first, know his name but little more than that. My specific title is “To what extent does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?” which I chose because it should allow me to delve into the depths of his character as well as his achievements and truly analyse who he was as a person. However now I’m into my project I have realised what an extensive, subjective and difficult question it is to answer. This is where I was hoping your expertise could help me by giving me your opinions on some of the following topics/questions.
When deciding on my title it occurred to me that before writing my dissertation I would really have to I now understand what it means to be great, so I was hoping for some insight on what you think an individual needs to have achieved or be like to be considered so.
Some texts I’ve read have implied that Alexander was a ‘real life’ Achilles and it seems to me that Alexander did identify with him somewhat, however I was wondering what your opinion was on the matter. Do you believe that Alexander modeled himself after his idol and was successful in doing so and did he live his life following the values of a Homeric Hero.
I have read translations of Arrian’s and Plutarch’s works on him and have become aware that there are limitations of written contemporary sources so any suggestions you have for me here, or if you can make any suggestions for more physical contemporary sources, would be greatly appreciated. Also any recommendations for books or articles would be good too.
I understand that you’re probably incredibly busy but would really appreciate it if you could reply as it would be really beneficial to my project.
Yours Sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form College
The first paragraph is something I have kept roughly the same, I've just made it more colloquial in nature as I feel the first one was a bit too informal, I have integrated what I want from them into it rather than a paragraph introducing me and then a paragraph bridging that point but rereading it I feel that it still isn't snappy enough and that is something I need to work on. I am happy with the added questions which are more specific, however I feel that I should relate it to the historian's own work to get the best out of these emails so I am still not completely happy with this draft though it is an improvement on the first.
RESEARCH
As I was struggling on drafting these emails I researched the best way to contact those in academia and from this website I have concluded that formality is best and that emails need to be polite and straight to the point. I think that my emails are polite however they could be more formal and definitely more to the point. I shall take this into account with my next draft. It is for this reason that I feel I should find a specific academic whom I would like to contact and base my email around that.
DRAFT 3
Dear Professor Romm,
I am writing to you because I have recently read an article published on the Forbes website, co written by you and Paul Cartledge, which particularly peaked my interest. I am a second year student at ******** and I am currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ) which basically involves planning, researching, evaluating and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to pursue this further into Higher Education through a Classics degree I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great with a specific focus on “To what extent does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?”. Now that I am into my project I have realised what an extensive, subjective and difficult question it is to answer. This is where I was hoping your expertise could help me and I would really appreciate it if you could offer your expertise.
The article in question is titled ‘How Great a General was Alexander?’ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/booked/2011/01/10/how-great-a-general-was-alexander/) and the statement of yours which grabbed was your suggestion that the Persians were a “paper tiger”. This is highly relevant to my project as a section of it is based on his generalship and another on his military successes and I would like to assess the enemy within this. I was therefore wondering what your opinion was on how the state of their enemy can be used in assessing a general’s greatness. Does it make them less great because they faced ‘easy’ opposition? Or does it not matter as Alexander himself led well against the Persians for the most part and can be considered a great general despite the shortcomings of the enemy? Surely Alexander’s ability at capitalising on enemy weakness shouldn’t lessen his greatness, nor should the fact that he faced inferior leaders affect this as he himself was a good general?
I would also be interested in your opinion, as a professional historian, on what it means to be great and what a man must do/be to be considered so as I realise as I realise my dissertation cannot progress well without a definition of this very subjective term.
I understand that you are probably incredibly busy but I would really appreciate it if you could reply as not only would it be extremely beneficial to my project but I personally find the topic fascinating and would love to know an expert's views on it.
Yours Sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form
I feel that is a vast improvement on what I previously drafted, it is much more personal to the academic which I feel will make an answer more likely i.e. I have related it to an article that they specifically wrote. From the start I tell him why I'm writing and then going into the question a bit later. Learning from the previous website I have used his title and dear in the greeting to keep it formal and respectful and have signed off in a similar manner. The only potential problem that I have with it is that it is a bit long - academics are probably very busy and won't want to spend too much time reading long emails from students they've never met without a reputation in the academic world. At the same time I feel the fact that I have explained what I would be doing with the research and focused it so much that it balances this out slightly.
I plan to proof read it tomorrow so any mistakes/improvements which can be made will be clearer to me than if I've just written it.
My main worry is that he won't reply so while I write this email and send it off I will be looking for other academics to contact as well.
DRAFT 1
To x,
I am a college student from ************ who is currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ), which basically involves planning, researching and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to take this further into Higher Education I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great, partially because although myself - and the majority of others - have all heard of him but actually know very little about him. My specific title is “To what extend does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?” which I chose because it should allow me to delve into the depths of his character as well as his achievements and truly analyse who he was as a person.
I am writing to you because during my research I have come across mentions of you [insert books, websites etc.] and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind first recommending any reading or avenues of research to undertake and later maybe answer any very specific questions or give your thoughts on any particular opinions I later come across. I would be much obliged if you could take the time out of your presumably very busy schedule and help me out as it is a subject I am deeply interested in and a question I want to answer to the best of my ability.
Yours sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form
The good things about this potential email is that it explains what the EPQ is as academics may not be aware of it and I feel I get my genuine interest in the subject across, academics won't reply if they feel I am not truly fascinated by their work. While I like all of this I don't feel that it works straight at the beginning as I don't actually tell them what I'd like from them until the second paragraph, these people are probably extremely busy and would want to know exactly why I am emailing them immediately. It is also very vague, it only asks for recommendations and I am past that point in my research so I would like some specific questions to be put in so it relates to my project completely.
I had to look up how to sign off from an email and I've learnt that you use Sincerely when you know the name of the person you are contacting (I will in this case) and Faithfully when they are known simply as sir/madame.
DRAFT 2
To x,
I am a student of ******* and am currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ) which basically involves planning, researching, evaluating and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to pursue this further into Higher Education through a Classics degree I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great. I chose this topic because I was fascinated by the fact that the majority of people, including myself at first, know his name but little more than that. My specific title is “To what extent does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?” which I chose because it should allow me to delve into the depths of his character as well as his achievements and truly analyse who he was as a person. However now I’m into my project I have realised what an extensive, subjective and difficult question it is to answer. This is where I was hoping your expertise could help me by giving me your opinions on some of the following topics/questions.
When deciding on my title it occurred to me that before writing my dissertation I would really have to I now understand what it means to be great, so I was hoping for some insight on what you think an individual needs to have achieved or be like to be considered so.
Some texts I’ve read have implied that Alexander was a ‘real life’ Achilles and it seems to me that Alexander did identify with him somewhat, however I was wondering what your opinion was on the matter. Do you believe that Alexander modeled himself after his idol and was successful in doing so and did he live his life following the values of a Homeric Hero.
I have read translations of Arrian’s and Plutarch’s works on him and have become aware that there are limitations of written contemporary sources so any suggestions you have for me here, or if you can make any suggestions for more physical contemporary sources, would be greatly appreciated. Also any recommendations for books or articles would be good too.
I understand that you’re probably incredibly busy but would really appreciate it if you could reply as it would be really beneficial to my project.
Yours Sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form College
The first paragraph is something I have kept roughly the same, I've just made it more colloquial in nature as I feel the first one was a bit too informal, I have integrated what I want from them into it rather than a paragraph introducing me and then a paragraph bridging that point but rereading it I feel that it still isn't snappy enough and that is something I need to work on. I am happy with the added questions which are more specific, however I feel that I should relate it to the historian's own work to get the best out of these emails so I am still not completely happy with this draft though it is an improvement on the first.
RESEARCH
As I was struggling on drafting these emails I researched the best way to contact those in academia and from this website I have concluded that formality is best and that emails need to be polite and straight to the point. I think that my emails are polite however they could be more formal and definitely more to the point. I shall take this into account with my next draft. It is for this reason that I feel I should find a specific academic whom I would like to contact and base my email around that.
DRAFT 3
Dear Professor Romm,
I am writing to you because I have recently read an article published on the Forbes website, co written by you and Paul Cartledge, which particularly peaked my interest. I am a second year student at ******** and I am currently completing an Extended Project Qualification (EPQ) which basically involves planning, researching, evaluating and writing a 5000 word dissertation on a subject of my choice. Due to my interest in Ancient History and wish to pursue this further into Higher Education through a Classics degree I have chosen the topic of Alexander the Great with a specific focus on “To what extent does Alexander III of Macedon deserve his epithet of ‘great’?”. Now that I am into my project I have realised what an extensive, subjective and difficult question it is to answer. This is where I was hoping your expertise could help me and I would really appreciate it if you could offer your expertise.
The article in question is titled ‘How Great a General was Alexander?’ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/booked/2011/01/10/how-great-a-general-was-alexander/) and the statement of yours which grabbed was your suggestion that the Persians were a “paper tiger”. This is highly relevant to my project as a section of it is based on his generalship and another on his military successes and I would like to assess the enemy within this. I was therefore wondering what your opinion was on how the state of their enemy can be used in assessing a general’s greatness. Does it make them less great because they faced ‘easy’ opposition? Or does it not matter as Alexander himself led well against the Persians for the most part and can be considered a great general despite the shortcomings of the enemy? Surely Alexander’s ability at capitalising on enemy weakness shouldn’t lessen his greatness, nor should the fact that he faced inferior leaders affect this as he himself was a good general?
I would also be interested in your opinion, as a professional historian, on what it means to be great and what a man must do/be to be considered so as I realise as I realise my dissertation cannot progress well without a definition of this very subjective term.
I understand that you are probably incredibly busy but I would really appreciate it if you could reply as not only would it be extremely beneficial to my project but I personally find the topic fascinating and would love to know an expert's views on it.
Yours Sincerely,
Robyn ******
Sixth Form
I feel that is a vast improvement on what I previously drafted, it is much more personal to the academic which I feel will make an answer more likely i.e. I have related it to an article that they specifically wrote. From the start I tell him why I'm writing and then going into the question a bit later. Learning from the previous website I have used his title and dear in the greeting to keep it formal and respectful and have signed off in a similar manner. The only potential problem that I have with it is that it is a bit long - academics are probably very busy and won't want to spend too much time reading long emails from students they've never met without a reputation in the academic world. At the same time I feel the fact that I have explained what I would be doing with the research and focused it so much that it balances this out slightly.
I plan to proof read it tomorrow so any mistakes/improvements which can be made will be clearer to me than if I've just written it.
My main worry is that he won't reply so while I write this email and send it off I will be looking for other academics to contact as well.